


In Waves

by SkywalkerSolo72



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Post-Finale, Rom-Com stereotypes, Unresolved Romantic Tension, winger speeches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:47:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27547060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkywalkerSolo72/pseuds/SkywalkerSolo72
Summary: Annie tells Jeff she's coming into town to say goodbye to the group. Jeff has three choices: leave things for dead, beg her to stay or tell her the truth and let her go. But can he decide?Title is a Trivium song.
Relationships: Annie Edison/Jeff Winger
Comments: 14
Kudos: 46





	1. Thoughts Send Me On A Carousel

**Author's Note:**

> Hi to all! I'm new to writing in general, I especially suck at writing dialogues and English is not my first language, so any and all suggestion/constructive criticism is well accepted! (Also, I apologise if my humour falls flat). I was initially inspired to do a sort of Friends finale with Community style and characters, but this morphed slightly in what you're about to read. In this first chapter, Jeff receives disconcerting news.
> 
> Thanks to catefrankie and jeffwik for the inspiration.
> 
> Enjoy your read!

The treetops gleamed in the late summer afternoon light, imperceptibly moving along as a playful breeze flowed through them. The classroom windows, ajar, let some of that gentle wind go and tease Jeff Winger’s product-filled hair, a thing he would have pretended to be bothered by any other day, but not now. At a first glance, the untrained eye might have concluded everything was perfectly normal with him, if not maybe for a little boredom, something that was apparently transpiring from his slouched posture as he seemingly texted. But taking a second look and paying attention to his body language would have shattered the illusion: his screen was in fact locked, and he was just tapping away as stress relief, which, judging by his tense shoulders and absent stares, wasn’t very effective. He was waiting for it to light up, to show him a familiar face: Annie.

 _Annie_ . They had kept in touch via text all along her internship, with her telling him all kinds of stories and thoughts from D.C., and Jeff smiling and replying with teasing messages, at which he imagined her scoffing in that peculiar way he knew she only put on for him. Then suddenly, the day before, the phone had chimed: _Are you free tomorrow, 15.30-ish? I need to call you._ And that was it: no greetings, a sort of hurrying oozing from the curt words that had concerned Jeff; he knew that the only thing he could do right then was to reply _Yes_ and wait for her call.

That text had summoned back a part of his brain that, willing or not, had always been well alert back from his criminal defense days: there was something untold, something not said and hidden, and on purpose. Jeff had culled the instinct to obsess over it as best as he could, but he had a feeling that, whatever it was that Annie wanted to say to him, it sure as hell wasn’t gonna be pleasant.

Somebody else would probably have been pacing the classroom waiting for the phone to ring, but not Jeff: he knew Annie would be right on schedule for the call, and he wanted to be as ready as he could (and walking around nervously didn’t nearly make the cutoff). At precisely 15.30, the phone rang. He picked up:

_“Hello?”_

_“Hi Jeff!”_ \- came Annie’s cheery voice on the other end- _“How are you doing?”_

 _“Fine, actually.”_ Jeff replied. He was struggling to reconcile the happy tone on the phone with the brisk text he had received; he didn’t sense any of the suspicious undertones he had picked up on either. So what was going on, really? Jeff couldn’t figure.

_“I’m glad to hear that! Sorry if I have made myself a bit scarce these last two weeks, I was really busy with work”_

_“That’s fine, don’t worry about it. On a different note, and sorry if I’m getting ahead of you, what is it that you wanted to tell me? You had me worried all evening yesterday.”_

_“Um, actually, it’s about work,”_

_“What, did somebody harass you or yell at you or treat you as you don’t deserve? I hope you showed them you don’t mess with Annie Edison, and if that wasn’t enough, which I highly doubt, you can always call me and I’ll teach ’em not to mess with my friends…”_

_“Jeff, calm down, calm down!”_ She was almost chuckling. Now he was officially out of clues. _“They loved me here. I’m coming back to Greendale to say goodbye to everybody ‘cause I GOT THE JOB!”_

_“Oh...good for you. I’m glad. I mean, it’s awesome, Annie! I’m very and unfairly proud of you, since it was you who put in all the work. Congratulations. When are you coming into town?”_

_“Uhh, day after tomorrow. Landing’s at 17.35.”_

_“OK. I’ll pick you up then if you text me the flight number.”_

_“Are you sure?”_

_“100%. See you then.”_

He laid the phone down and leaned back into his chair. Behind his closed eyelids, his mind was spinning out of control, dragging him down way into places he had hoped never to see again. Yet, Jeff sensed the storm wasn’t even starting. He would have to wait two days just to figure out what was actually going to happen, since he couldn’t for the life of him even try to predict his actions, thoughts or emotions, nor did he particularly want to. Silently sighing, Jeff slowly got up and exited the campus. His _malaise_ was so evident no one even so much as tried to approach him. 


	2. My Two Favorite Allies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie arrives in Greendale.

Two days later, Jeff was sitting in his Lexus in a huge parking lot near Denver International Airport, when he spotted from afar Annie hobbling towards no specific spot; he got out of the car and all but ran in her direction. Her face lit up when she saw him; when Jeff was near enough, she stopped in her tracks and stretched her arms out to hug him. They stood there for a moment, completely oblivious to anything but the person in their arms.

Then Jeff imperceptibly stiffened up for a split second, regained his composure and tried to force the words to come out of his mouth. 

“Hi” she said, finally, piercing the awkwardness their separation had momentarily created. 

“Hey!” Jeff clapped back. “So, can we stop speaking in monosyllables and I’ll take your luggage and we can head out to Greendale?” 

“Lead the way”.

* * *

“So, how long are you staying?” Jeff asked while they were driving back. 

Annie pursed her lips a bit before answering: “Um, I think four or five days, just the time to pack and send away my stuff and say goodbye to everybody” 

“Annie Edison doesn’t know exactly when she is gonna return from a trip? Has our world gone insane?”, he teased. 

“ _Jeff!_ ” she swatted his chest, rolling her eyes and twisting an angle of her mouth slightly upwards. “I didn’t buy a two-way ticket because I didn’t know how much time it would take to move AND say goodbye to my friends.” 

“Sorry about that” Jeff said sincerely, in a soft tone. “What exactly is your position going to be anyway in D.C.?” 

“Well, I’m going to start out as a forensic analyst, but I might be able to move up the ladder in a few years…” 

“Or months”, he butted in, momentarily turning his head and half-smiling at her, and she couldn’t help wincing and blushing a bit, though she concealed it well.

“I’m serious, Annie. You’re the most driven and competent person I know, and if it isn’t you who breaks the mold, who will?”

She didn’t answer, and so for a bit they drove in silence, staring at the road ahead. After a while, the tension eased and Annie resumed her stories and anecdotes, being interrupted every now and then by Jeff’s comments. Finally, they spotted the Greendale exit sign, and they pulled into town. 

* * *

The Lexus stopped in front of the building. Jeff insisted on carrying the suitcases up to apartment 303, despite Annie’s protests and offers to help. When they opened the door and stepped in, Jeff and Annie were greeted by a seemingly possessed cat who raced through their legs meowing and promptly hit a chair leg, causing the meows to rise in both volume and pitch. 

“Chomsky! _Chomsky!_ You whiskered, fur-ball-producing idiot, you hit your head, poor baby…” 

Britta’s concerned voice faded out as she emerged from her bedroom, knelt down on the floor, picked up her screaming cat and only then looked up. The Chomsky issue was promptly forgotten as she dropped the disgruntled feline and went to hug Annie, accompanying the gesture with a sort of squeal Jeff had never heard her make before.

“I’m so happy you’re back in town! I mean…” Britta lowered her eyes as she realized the implications of what she had just said.

“I’m happy to see you, but this must mean that your internship has ended…”. 

Jeff held his breath, knowing Annie would tell Britta she had actually gotten a job in D.C., and he suddenly felt all the weight of knowing it in advance and having to watch all of his friends' reactions from a “privileged” standpoint from then on. 

“Actually, they loved me, so much that they offered me a position as a forensic analyst, with good possibility for promotion” Annie was piping up, controlling her tone so as not to offend her friend by suggesting she was happy leaving them all behind. Britta was understandably astonished, but after a moment she stirred herself from her amazement and went in for a second hug, congratulating Annie and jumping up and down from the excitement. Jeff just stood there, watching on the sidelines; he falsely politely coughed to catch the girls’ attention and excused himself, saying they probably had a lot of catching up to do. 

It was starting to rain, he noticed: clouds were turning a menacing shade of black, a cool wind had started sweeping the street and the air was rapidly filling with the obfuscating smell of water on hot asphalt. Jeff opened the door of his car, sat inside, put the keys in the ignition and then changed his mind. He leaned back as much as he could, and let his guard down, ready to be hit by the weight of his knowledge, how it had been in play, and really all of it: still no signs of the wave crashing down. He stretched out for a little while, then turned the keys and headed to his place. 


	3. Well, This Calls For A Toast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The remainders of the study group throw Annie a goodbye party the night before she leaves. Britta and Jeff talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This and the next chapter were actually one thing, but I figured it might be lighter if I split it in two.
> 
> Enjoy your read!

“Because Kickpuncher shows a constant, if sometimes laughable, growth spanning the franchise, whereas all Inspectors and Constables fall for the same traps and encounter the same problems year after year, not wisening up. Also, with the current and expected technology, superhuman strength seems much more attainable than the same errors time after time and time travel. However, it’s also true that…”

“That we might never see neither in action because we will all drown in the melted ice caps or our tyrannical government will hide it from us? Well, we couldn’t expect that our patriarchal overlords might provide a realistic-looking future for us down there, could we?”

Both Abed and Britta instantly stopped arguing and turned around smiling ear to ear when they heard Annie’s voice. She entered The Vatican and her mouth went agape when she looked up and saw the streamers and banners reading “Goodbye Annie” and “We’ll miss you!”.

Her eyes began glimmering with tears, her bottom lip started quivering, and she began to furiously ravage her purse in search of a tissue. Everybody immediately surrounded her with a hug, almost smothering her thin frame in an ocean of warmth, reassuring words and affection. The huddle broke up and Britta slid an appletini towards Annie, raising her glass meanwhile. Jeff, Abed, Annie, Craig, Chang and Frankie cheered in response, took a long swig and immediately began chattering.

After a while, they all broke out every single quarter they could find, and for nearly an hour they monopolized the jukebox: Abed predictably insisted on “You Never Can Tell” by Chuck Berry, and they all took turns twisting around and acting like in “Pulp Fiction”, laughing all the while; Craig lured Jeff by the jukebox, evading his suspicions insisting it was an urgent academic matter, shushing Frankie when she tried to warn Jeff there was no such thing and then proceeded to play “Kiss from a Rose”, prompting a menacing exchanging of stares that resulted in the two of them slow dancing, each clearly displaying just how much they were enjoying it; and everybody shuddered involuntarily while the speakers were blasting “Fernando”.

As the evening went on, everyone got considerably tipsy, in some cases bordering and trespassing well into drunk, except for Jeff, who was still nursing his glass of scotch, Abed, “whose little drunk escapade with Jeff in the first season still made him blackout at times”, and Britta, who couldn’t drink much while at work, even with The Vatican now all to herself and her friends.

* * *

“You’ll miss her, huh?” 

Britta glanced at Annie, who in tandem with Abed was trying to convince Frankie to watch _Inspector Spacetime_ , and then at Jeff, who was sitting at the bar alone, briefly looking sideways to his friends every now and then, and gave him a sympathetic smile. 

“I think we all will”, sighed Jeff in return, and he finally sipped up the remainder of the scotch in his glass.

“Don’t try to fool me with generalizations, Winger”, the blonde gently replied. “You’re looking at her right now, like you two always did. You actually thought we didn’t all see the way you both retreated in your own world while you stared at each other?”, Britta chuckled lightly, but immediately stopped when she saw her friend’s face darken.

But she was determined to help him, because _dammit_ if she didn’t care about them more than almost anything else in the world: so Britta forced herself to twist the knife around a bit. 

“Or the way she reacted when you revealed we were engaged? Sure that wasn’t healthy for your relationship, or was it?” 

“Britta, please, enough with the therapy stuff…”. But she was already on a roll, although it didn’t have full force because they were talking quietly so that the others wouldn’t hear. 

“I think you two never actually talked about it, and you feel guilty for ruining what you had, so you just distanced yourself from her as well to try and minimize the damage.”

“There might also have been another kiss a couple months ago…” Jeff mumbled, his head in his hands.

“WHAT?”

“Nothing”

“Whatever. But, Jeff…”. Her voice softened again. “I just want you both to be happy, and I’ll do anything I can to help if you will let me”.

“Your offer is duly noted and graciously refused”, sneered Jeff. “I’d like another glass of scotch and my check, please”. 

“Sure thing”, Britta replied in a resigned voice, her eyes lowered. “Any preferences on the scotch?”

“The furthest in the back you have, please.” She rolled her eyes. “Oh, and…” Jeff said, making Britta, already on her way to the backroom, turn. “A side of bartender’s silence, please”. 

The blonde scoffed and disappeared in the back. She returned a bit later, holding a glass half-full of amber liquid, which appeared to have been stored unopened for so many years, the sediment danced on the bottom, creating a mesmerizing effect. 

“Here you are”, she said, handing him the drink. Then she leaned back in. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it, even just with me?”. The arched brow on her friend’s face reminded her both of the certainly unusual side dish he had ordered and, she couldn’t quite put her finger on why, an utter and complete refusal. 

Britta obliged and soon moved over, apparently to wipe down a section of the counter: from there, she secretly observed Jeff staring at their friends and taking a sip from his scotch; she had to repress a pang of schadenfreude when he grimaced from the horrible taste and discreetly poured it in the sink. 

While he was reaching over the bar, their eyes met: his spoke clearly, affirmingly, and hers flashed back affirmatively, with a hint of understanding.


	4. Once You Know You Can Never Go Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The going-away party ends. Jeff and Annie have a little talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second part (along with the previous chapter) of the original longer chapter I decided to split in two.
> 
> Enjoy your read!

“And he just poured another cup and then he went behind the counter and started scraping away at a mug so hard you’d think it owed him money”, Annie concluded, nearly bent over by her own laughter.

Abed was practically in the same situation. He managed to get out “Fantastic. Very Gilmore-Girls-like” before having another fit, which bordered on hysterical, as if he somehow knew more sides to the story.

When the laughter died down, everybody found themselves hidden by a forest of hands raised to cover their yawning mouths. 

“Well, after hearing how the infamous doe-eyes have attacked D.C. too, I think it’s time for us all to raise our glasses one last time and then go home for a good night’s sleep”, Jeff announced. “You especially, Annie. Big day tomorrow”. All nodded in agreement, as all the alcohol and remembrance had eaten away their energy and their time, although they didn’t realize it till they heard it out loud, and stumbled to form a circle.

Jeff realized all eyes were pointed at him, expecting yet another Winger speech, and a special one at that. He didn’t need to scan their faces to know that they, that evening, had done so much that there was no need for further words to be spoken; rather, they lived them. So he simply raised his glass and proclaimed: “To Annie”. 

The others echoed: “To Annie”. Then they knocked down the rest of their drinks and scattered to help Britta clean up and close.

* * *

They stood in front of the closed bar, just the two of them. Britta had called a cab for everyone, including herself; Abed had been staying at Britta’s, restoring for a moment the old living combination, and he got into the cab sending Jeff a knowing stare, whose meaning he didn’t know. Annie wanted to stay a bit to sober up outside in the warm air, and Jeff had volunteered to keep her company, as he had drunk much less. They’d been chit chatting for a while, when Annie yawned and started walking.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“Home, Jeff. I’m tired, still a bit drunk and, as you said, I do have a big day tomorrow”. She drowsily smiled.

“Well, I’m not letting you walk home this time of the night all alone and drunk. Come on, I’ll give you a ride. Saves time too, and it’s on my way, so everybody wins.”

“Jeff, I’m not a kid anymore, as you pointed out once”.  _ Ouch. _ That was something he certainly didn’t want to be dug up again. “I can walk home. Besides, you’re taking me to the airport tomorrow. I don't want to cause you any more trouble”.

“Don’t worry about the airport”, Jeff retorted. “And adults still need to be protected”. Annie crossed her arms and glowered at him. “Please? I’ll feel less worried if you just let me take you home. You’re important to me, Annie. I wouldn’t ever forgive myself if anything happened while I let you walk home alone. So, can you just hop in and I’ll drive you?”.

Annie’s face mellowed, and a strange expression Jeff couldn’t decipher made its way into her features. She still didn’t budge, though. Jeff decided to risk it, go all or nothing to save his conscience.

He looked Annie right in the eye, extended his arm a bit and simply said: 

“Milady?”

Her strange expression slowly melted away, and she moved beside him, took his arm and replied: 

“Milord.”

They headed to the Lexus idly chatting away.

The car stopped outside the building. Annie undid her seatbelt, opened the door, wished Jeff a good night and was about to get out, when he called out: 

“Annie.”

She turned her head, surprised.

Jeff’s mouth had apparently decided to act on its own without consulting the brain first, leaving it stranded in the time of need. Nevertheless, he had to say something: a corner of his mind he had tried filling with cobwebs was already suggesting words and actions to him, whispering tentatively:  _ Talk about it. Tell her. _ His rational mind was telling him there was nothing pressing to talk about, it was just the alcohol speaking, just let her go home and rest. “ _ Yeah, but, Jeff, let’s be honest, there’s more between you and Annie than there’s between me and Pierce _ ”. No. It was definitely not the right moment to  _ talk about it _ , if there had ever been or would ever be. 

Jeff realized she was still waiting for him to talk. So he put on his best smile, looked her in the eye again and said a sincere: “Good night”. She replied in kind and headed for the front door. Jeff stood guard until she got in and the door closed behind her, then he turned off the engine and, again, laid back on the seat. He felt as though something had stirred inside of him, something that was coming to life, whose signs were seeping into his mind right then in that exact moment. The wave wasn’t in sight yet, but the water had begun its fatal retreat towards the open sea, to come back stronger than before…

Jeff was awoken by the sound of raindrops on the hood and the windshield; he had dozed off for about half an hour, he found out. Apparently that was enough time for it to start pouring down. Silently cursing the foul weather, Jeff started up the car and drove away.


	5. It Took The Death Of Hope To Let You Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff drops Annie off at the airport.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a larger chapter, so I'm sorry in advance if it's heavier to read, but it couldn't be split in two (and you'll soon find out why!)
> 
> Enjoy your read!

Annie jerked awake as the first rays of sun passed upon her face. She pulled her pillow down on her face to try and avoid the implacable light hurting her head, but to no avail. She sighed and got up. Half an hour later, with a cup of coffee in her hand, she was packing the last of her stuff in her suitcase. Britta looked over her shoulder, exhibiting a melancholic smile. 

Jeff lay on the bed, unable to drift back to sleep. He had to admit, despite himself, Britta’s words had partially gotten through to him: she was partially right, he and Annie had to talk. About what, he didn’t want to face: he was still waiting for the realization to come crashing down, and the last thing he needed was another big thing to worry about. The timing is what upset him the most: not that he didn’t expect the hit; he had been preparing for it ever since he dropped her and Abed off at the airport. Rather, he was worried it might come too late. For once, he didn’t feel guilty for wallowing a bit, nor did he try to exorcise his feelings with something he knew was empty at that point: he simply stayed put and let the thoughts come scurrying to him.

* * *

The Lexus pulled up and waited.

“Goodbye, Abed. I’ll miss you”, Annie was saying. Abed nodded; his face was lit by the sudden glow of the streetlight coming on, and Jeff could have sworn his eyes were filled with tears. He felt guilty for not letting out anything, and a lump gripped his throat when Annie hugged Abed and the two men’s eyes met: Abed’s eyes expressed nothing but a deep fear of incomprehension, and again Jeff felt guilty and useless for not being able to help him. _Crocodile regrets_. _You’re the biggest of hypocrites: couldn’t you at least try, before deeming it and yourself a lost cause?_

Annie then hugged Britta tight, and they whispered something in each other’s ear which Jeff couldn’t make out. Then she headed towards Jeff’s car, turning a final time to give a last “Bye”. Jeff got out and opened the door for her, which she graciously accepted with a slight head tilt. Jeff came back inside, started the car and drove away, waving along with Annie. 

* * *

While driving, Jeff looked to his side and saw Annie had nodded off, her face leaning against the window. His lips distorted in an affectionate grin, and suddenly it occurred to him how good it felt to have her by his side, even asleep. And then he realized the implications: it was, in all probability, the last time it could ever come to be in a way that felt true. His heart sank under the weight of the realization, and he finally spotted the wave, coming for him in God only knew what time. Unable to repel the chain of thoughts, Jeff forced himself not to look sideways and clutched the wheel hard.

A while later, Annie woke up. She directed a drowsy smile at Jeff, but it quickly melted into a concerned expression when she saw just how unhappy his face was. 

“Are you alright, Jeff?”, she asked in a worried tone.

He mumbled: “I’m fine” without even looking at her and went back to sulking.

* * *

“It won’t be bad, you know. You guys are my family, and we will still see each other on holidays. I’ll fly back, it’s no big deal.”

“Yeah, that’s a plan.”. _Of course, the longing stares won’t be as romantic if we’re stuffing our faces with turkey_.

They hurried up as a speaker announced the start of boarding for Annie’s flight. If Jeff’s heart could have sunk deeper than it already was, it would have; the impersonal voice booming from the PA had all but banged the gavel on an entire era; so many thoughts, feelings, adventures, things left hanging or unsaid would find their unrest in a shallow, silent grave.

Jeff’s mind suddenly flashed back to a couple hours prior, when he had picked Annie up. He saw Abed’s terrified stare again; he looked deep inside of his eyes, and, stuffed into a corner, barely touched by the light, saw himself, his arms wrapped around his knees and head sunk between them. He felt the fear of incomprehension wash over him, a claustrophobic shell closing around him and flooding, submerging all of his surroundings.

But against all common sense, rather than holding his breath in vain, he decided to talk. He clung to a lifeline he himself had crafted, probably ages ago, and slowly climbed up, emerging and gasping for air.

Jeff suddenly stopped and turned his head towards Annie. He had to tell her the truth along with the goodbye. She had been hurt by him too many times to not be owed an explanation and an apology; even if it definitely didn’t make up for all his actions, at least the truth would be out, to be done with according to will. _And it will make me partially forgive myself_ , spoke up a corner of Jeff’s mind he knew was telling the uncomfortable truth.

“Annie.”, he began. _You are speaking to her with your mouth, not out of your head_ , he thought as she was startled by his loud tone and sudden halt. 

“I’m sorry…”, he began saying to soothe her over.

“For what?” 

Jeff looked Annie right in the eye and let the words come to him, in an almost murmured tone: what he had to say didn’t need to be loud to draw attention and have a meaning. He spoke from his heart, and that didn’t need rhetorical devices.

“For everything. For my silence. For my brashness and my arrogance. For hurting you more times than I probably know. For denying that something existed, and laughing at you for it even though I was just as in on it as you were. For leading you and myself on. And once more, I’m sorry that I hurt you, and myself for doing this here and this late; hell, had I done this the first second I should’ve, it still would have been too late."

"And now here we are, standing in the least appropriate place for this while I make you late for your flight, rambling on and on for my own benefit and tearing open old wounds. And I can’t say all is ever going to be the same or almost the same either, because that would be lying. People say that when they don’t wanna face reality, when fate and things rear their head and force you to look up and hard at the actual state of events; and it's scary, because any kind of change is scary, and that’s something that we cannot fix, it’s primal, but we can learn to eventually accept it. I’m not asking you to stay, because that would be giving up your current hopes to satisfy a narcissistic desire."

"I just feel that you’ve given me so much, that telling you the truth along with my goodbyes is the least I can do, even if it means nothing in the grand scheme of things. Please, think what you will about these words. It’d be fine if what you drew from them is you won’t talk to me ever again”. _Liar_.

During his speech, Annie had managed to keep a straight, albeit increasingly undecipherable, face. But now, her eyes had begun glittering with tears, and, although still largely illegible, her expression unequivocally showed discomfort, sadness, and, inexplicably for Jeff, empathy. She opened her mouth, but she said nothing. He had resumed sulking, and horrible wouldn’t even begin to describe how he felt for hurting her again.

 _Well, at least you’ve set a clean slate, and this is just the first, so you’re in the clear_ , snickered his bitter side. 

“Goodbye, Jeff. I’ll call you when I get there.”, Annie finally said, regaining part of her composure, still sniffling. She tried to fix up a smile as she turned and resumed rushing, her shoes rapidly ticking against the marble floor. Jeff watched her go, not sure if he was feeling emptiness or was just empty himself, now.

One thing was sure: his shell was starting to flood again, and it had nothing to do with the rain staining the airport windows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I didn't mess the speech up, since I'm still very new to writing in general and certainly not on par to what pros can accomplish.  
> I apologise if I ruined the spirit of the Winger speech. I tried my best.
> 
> Let me know in the comments down below!


	6. Left You At A Bar, To Try And Save Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie becomes a subject of study for an observant bartender.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to vary the scene composition a bit in here. Hope it came off well.
> 
> Enjoy your read!

* * *

Lukas had seen his share of events working at the airport bar: mostly missing luggage, sometimes rom-com moments he, his coworkers and some patrons liked to bet on, some genuinely heart-wrenching situations, and other random funny stuff like pets getting loose or altercations with security. But he wasn’t there for the entertainment: he got that from ball games, TV shows and hanging out with his friends, all of which he paid for using money he got for doing his job, which involved not getting too distracted by the surroundings.

He saw a brunette approach the counter, her eyes all red and puffy. 

He would have thought she was cute, if he weren’t on a quest to try and woo Jen, his smart-ass coworker with whom he had developed a wit competition that made everyone else groan and roll their eyes hoping they would put an end to it and just sleep together to make things go south, for God’s sake. 

_ Probably got dumped or said goodbye to someone important. Same old, same old _ . Things like that were a dime a dozen around there; but it was his job to be polite and do what he was told, and she looked both hurt and confused. 

Lukas put on his customer service smile and asked as empathetically as he could: “Good evening, what can I serve you, miss?”

She raised her eyes and, with much more composure than Lukas could have guessed from her state, ordered: “An appletini”. 

Then, as he turned around and started taking the ingredients for the cocktail, she called him out, apologised for the inconvenience and asked again: “A scotch, neat. No,”, she again changed her mind.  _ I might not have fooled myself about her strength after all _ . “sorry again, I’ll take a Martini. That’s final offer.”

“Coming right up.”

To her credit, Lukas thought, she didn’t slam it down in one swig nor did she ask to keep them coming. Instead, she poked at the olive in the glass with an absent stare. 

He knew from experience that was the state of mulling that people fell into while they were thinking about what steps to take next. He had seen it too many times to not know the exact chain of events: someone would come to the bar completely bewildered and devastated, order their drink of choice (something everybody picked up from too many movies), down a few glasses and then resolve to do whatever, leaving without a tip. 

When he glanced over his shoulder while putting dishes away, the brunette was calmly sipping the final remains of her drink. Lukas came over to retrieve the glass, and found himself surprised when, under it, he found two neatly folded notes: $30. A 65% tip. She spoke with a much firmer voice:  _ an outlier, the exception to the rule?  _

“Thanks, and sorry again for the order mess. Goodbye.”

“Have a nice evening”. He was not surprised she had apparently come to her senses; rather that she had thought of somebody beside herself and was not all caught up in the act. She got up and walked away, her phone pressed against her ear.

While he looked at nothing, Jen came up behind him and whispered in his ear: 

“Looking at other girls now, huh?”. She was grinning, Lukas could tell: sarcasm dripped from her voice, which had strangely lost the testy edges. 

“Getting jealous there, aren’t we?”, he tried to quip back, still quite stunned. 

The comeback was probably the worst he had ever conceived; and yet, Jen laughed heartily, as if she were watching  _ Seinfeld _ (before the feud began and they were both newbies, she had confided to him it was her favorite show when Jerry had appeared on the news. He had no idea why he remembered that information). 

“So, any plans after the shift?”, she asked while taking a seat at the bar.

“Ugh, get off me”, laughed Lukas while pouring her a glass of water.

“Oh, save it”, Jen clapped back, her eyes glistening in anticipation.

Lukas knew that stare; he traced out what she would say, but set himself up nevertheless. 

“Save it for when?”, he asked, exhaling a deep sigh and preparing to fake a groan.

Jen recognized the bait as placed and leaned in, her chin resting on her elbows.

“Tonight, after we get done having sex.”

He snorted, half-derisively, and looked at his coworker, who was taking a sip of her water while watching him. There was a sparkle of amusement in her eyes.

Lukas was an avid TV show watcher. If the trope about people with tension joking about sleeping with each other was true, _before the night was through he would have done bad things with her_. If not… Well, he was never wrong about tropes working out. Or was he simply wishing well because he _hoped_ things would go that way?

He opted not to question himself any further, picked up some glasses to clean and went back to idly chatting with Jen while watching out for customers or, better yet, drama. 

Her face imperceptibly lighted up when Lukas came near, but neither seemed to notice.

They both did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of right now, I'm writing a short story with Lukas and Jen as main characters. Might share it if it ever gets to a satisfying end.
> 
> Side note: Lukas is based in good part on myself for some things, and also a bit on Abed. Hope this variation in style and divergence from the story wasn't too bad!  
> If it was, though, let me know down here!


	7. But I Love You More Than Words Can Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff and Annie confront each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As for chapter 5, I'm sorry for the length, but this couldn't possibly be split.
> 
> Enjoy your read!

* * *

Jeff opened the door to his apartment, got in and shut the door. 

He headed to his bedroom, took off his soaked shirt and jeans and changed into his household clothes. He then hung the wet garments to dry: no sense in slamming those down and ruining them. Such displays of anger would have been pointless and utterly hypocritical: after all, he couldn’t express his immense disappointment in himself for hurting others by directing it outwards. So he thought, between equally useless solutions, the least damaging seemed to fling himself on the couch and stare at nothing, which he did. 

But Jeff soon found out, with little surprise, he had nothing to direct thoughts at. What actually baffled the little part of his mind that could still be called _him_ , however, was the extent of the void.

Before he had come to Greendale, he had tried to cover it with empty pleasures, that at least still had their shell to provide a sufficient cover to at least tolerate his own being and hide his true essence from most; after he was stripped of his bar license and a group of six misfits had started, despite his initial best efforts to avoid it, to warm him up, he had started feeling more complete, maybe without a purpose, but a good portion of the space had been taken up nonetheless; now, he knew that they were still somewhere, but he couldn’t spot them (they probably were inglobated in whatever remained of him); at least he had once included an empty set, instead of being one.

Jeff lay there completely clueless, as there wasn’t something he should or had to do; everything was simply empty and superfluous. He finally understood: it wasn’t that his view now was what he saw watching through all of the negative things he thought about himself, but rather that those things had disappeared and left him on the cliff, watching into the void. It was his life, unfiltered. 

His stomach growled, reminding him he hadn’t eaten anything since lunch, and there were other empty things around there other than his soul. Jeff went through the motions of cooking a plain meal, and sat on his couch. He picked up his phone mostly out of habit, to check up on his texts, and really to try and find something to distract himself.

**_Missed call(s): Annie (2)_ **

_Well, that’s still something_ , a part of Jeff’s mind would have chuckled, but not now. He had forgotten, _in crying over myself_ he thought, that she would call. 

_She called_. So she had reached out first. He couldn’t form a single coherent thought that his hands had bypassed his rational thought, which didn’t appear to have been used that much recently, and typed Annie’s number from simple muscle memory.

He pressed “Call”, lifted his phone to his ear and waited.

* * *

Annie’s feet pattered on the steps as she panted up the stairs, lifting her respectably large suitcase and the rest of her luggage. She finally reached her floor and headed down the hallway, coming to a stop in front of one of the doors. She fumbled around in her purse for a key as her phone began ringing.

* * *

Jeff heard clamor out of his door. He got up to see if he could identify the source without having to look outside and pass for nosy. He still thought nothing of it until he heard a phone ringing and his lock opening.

* * *

Annie’s hand slipped away from the key when the door opened suddenly. The key dropped to the floor; with a groan, she kneeled to retrieve it. When she picked it up and raised her eyes, Jeff was standing there completely befuddled, looming over her, watching the scene with incredulous eyes. When they met hers, she couldn’t read what they were saying.

* * *

Dumbfounded, Jeff opened his mouth: “Annie…”

“We have to talk, Jeff”, she interrupted him, dragging her luggage inside with her and closing the door.

* * *

“Yes, you can come in. Thanks for asking”, Jeff tried to open while Annie coursed through his living room. She finished piling up all of her luggage and turned around to shoot him a glare.

“Why do you always, always have to play with fire to break the ice, Jeff?”, she said in an exasperated voice.

He turned his eyes to the ground as she continued: “Always have to hide behind walls and mazes and enigmas, just because you’re so afraid of being out there, of living, of putting down a firm and definitive answer.”

Jeff lifted a finger, “Sorry about that for a bit, but aren’t you supposed…”

“To be in D.C.? Yeah, well, they can wait a day or two. I can’t go on indefinitely in uncertainty, even on the other side of the country. I... _we_ had to put a definitive say in this.”

Annie’s voice trembled slightly, but she went ahead with even more force.

“And after everything that’s happened, all the promises, the times you left me hanging there in hope, you build me a whole castle of apologies and words just to tear it down and hide once again. You kiss me, get ashamed of it, apologise to me and then make promises and plans and then turn into a blind alley. I’m tired of being played with, Jeff. I think I’ve earned the right to a final answer. Either you want me or not. What’s it gonna be?”

“I want you, but I don’t know if I’m allowed to. You have earned having the best in the world, and you don’t need a washed-up, narcissistic failure to drag you down and smother away all the potential you have. So I don’t think I can say that I’d be completely okay with being with you…” _Of course you would. Let’s not overdo fooling ourselves, okay?_ It went partially unheeded. 

“Also, I thought you didn’t want to have anything else to do with me in the, um, romantic department since I hurt you getting engaged to Britta. She told me we had to talk about it since we never actually did.”

Jeff watched Annie shrivel a bit when he mentioned the rashest decision of his life. Still, her face looked like she was trying not to laugh.

Which she did, once again completely confusing Jeff. It wasn’t hearty laughter, but rather unbelieving. He still couldn’t figure out what she was laughing for, though. 

She finally composed herself and said, her face darkening a bit: “Why do you think I kept coming back to you? When I got a stupid, huge crush on you and you shut me down, begged me to keep quiet for your own good? When you denied something was going on between us in front of everybody? When I snatched... _we_ were snatched up in the ACB investigation, what was with the platonic shoulder holding?”

Annie’s voice had kept steadily growing in volume, and she was now almost shouting. 

“Or yes, let’s talk about it: when you decided you wanted to spend the rest of your life with Britta, out of the blue. Do you have any idea just how much that hurt? To have something you thought was gonna end up well taken from you abruptly, without a warning, a fighting chance?”

She immediately wished she hadn’t said that as what she saw in Jeff’s eyes just minutes before came back in her memory. With a just slightly softer tone, she resumed talking. 

“Or, as you are probably thinking right now, you’ve tried to open up; just not as much as I needed. You have come to pick me up at the airport, drove me around, threw me a party, insisted on driving me home while I was drunk and then hit me with a Winger speech as you watched me slip away from you."

"And I’d like to know that it meant something, and I have many reasons to believe it did, and does. Whether this is the case or not, you just need to tell me once and for all if I can stay with you or hit the road. Whatever it is, I can take it. _Just tell me. Please._ ”

Jeff’s mind was long desensitized to fight-or-flight type responses; he had gained the capability to rationalize the situation and slow down his surroundings. 

Even here, he didn’t panic: he spoke, not without feeling, but simply stating a fact of life, no less convinced of it than if he were stating the sky is blue.

“I love you, Annie.”

She couldn’t say she didn’t consider it as a possibility, but to give it a small chance in thinking about the scenario and hearing Jeff saying it were two different worlds entirely.

And yet, some part of her, which still bore the scar tissue from too many times before, pulled away still. Even if partial, a look of incredulity appeared on her face.

It only strengthened Jeff’s resolve. He felt his shoulders and back tensing down as words he was relieved to utter came out.

“I do. I have for a long time, but I was so scared to admit it: to myself, because it would have meant it was real; to you, because I was terrified you’d reject me, or worse, that I’d drag you down and perpetually leave a sour taste; to the others, because they’d have forced me to take sides or would have straight-up said I was a monster and a creep for going after a girl as young as you. And I thought this too, and I know that it’s still ingrained in some part of me: so I tried to distance myself from you, hurting you even though the recoil hit me too; I did it for my own selfish reasons, so I could lie and tell myself I was doing, after all, the right thing."

"And now, as you always did, you’ve forced me to confront change and to fight bravely; and as I like to think I always did, I’ve learnt something. Who and what I am now, it’s because of you seeing something in me and digging it out.”

Jeff felt his barriers lowering, leaving space for words to flow out; he was getting more and more passionate, and his voice, though he tried his best, was starting to crack at times.

“You mean”, he continued, almost choking up and out of breath, “this and so much more to me, Annie. What I feel for you, I can’t describe; the nearest approximation is love. I love you, Annie Edison, more than anything else in the world combined. So yes, you can stay, indefinitely as far as I’m concerned.”

Annie’s doubts completely crumbled: he might have been an extreme liar in the past; he had hurt her; but she _knew_ him. This was for real. She slowly moved closer to him, unsure, as he was, on what to do or say. She just wanted to know one last thing…

“Just this: how…”, she began, but then Jeff hesitantly put his arms around her and drew her closer. She stared up.

He looked her straight in the eye, then he moved his hands just under her shoulders and pulled up; she took hold of his collar and drew him down as she went up.

They kissed: not an explosion, something to convey the passion before the end credits rolled in, but rather a small step. 

They had waited six years to come to this; after so much desire, so many unsaid words, long looks and stolen glances, they felt it would only be appropriate to walk that last step in kind, a small gesture that carried an entire world of meanings within, before crossing the threshold of their new life together.

They kissed for a while, their tears mixing; they felt the salty taste of relief and happiness whenever they stopped for a bit just to smile at each other and then resume.

* * *

After a bit more kissing and crying, they settled down on the couch. As they idly laid there, blankly staring at the TV and enjoying each other’s presence, he suddenly remembered something. He turned towards Annie and asked:

“What did you want to "just know" earlier, before we kissed?”

“Oh, that”. She smiled, bashful all of a sudden. “I guess I wanted to know how long you’ve known you... loved me.”

“You mean when I could no longer stand my own hypocrisy when I forced myself to think I didn’t?”

She nodded, a glimpse of curiosity painted on her face.

“Borchert’s lab”. Jeff was gazing at the ceiling, his mind racing to that day: he now knew how that ended, and it certainly put a new spin on his perspective.

“When that nutcase talked about emotional impulses, I still don’t know why, but I trusted him 100%, and I knew I just had to look at you to save us all”.

Now he was smiling, but in a sort of melancholic kind of way.

“I knew what the consequences would be; I was fully aware that it would have meant the truth was out there, to be accepted no matter what; and still, I did it, for me and you and for all of us that day.”

“It makes sense now”. They hugged tighter.

* * *

It was starting to get really late. As the two laid in bed, hands clasped together, Jeff had yet another thought.

“Annie?”, he whispered.

“Hmm?”, she replied, her eyes already closed.

“About the stay part… I was serious about not dragging you down. Do you think that flat in D.C. can fit two?”

She turned towards him and stared at him from behind ajar eyelids. “Jeff Winger, are you asking to move in with me across the country at this hour of the night?”

“I think I just did”, Jeff grinned in the dark. Annie’s shoulder lifted a bit as if she was thinking of swatting him, but she sighed and desisted, tired.

“Yes, Jeff, we will live together in D.C. I love you. Goodnight.”

“I love you too, Annie. Goodnight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This concludes my first fanfiction ever. I hope you enjoyed the extra dose of WInger speeches, even if they probably suck.
> 
> Thanks to everybody who read this, to who left kudos or a comment, and to Dan Harmon for making us all dream. 
> 
> May the universe turn in your favor, reader!


End file.
